Midwestern Mommy

The lovely and delightful Carrie tagged me for a random meme. And since she’s so awesome, I must oblige, yes?

5 Random Weird facts about me

5.) I never step on manhole covers due to a freak accident from years ago.

4.) Years ago a telephone company was working in a certain area and broke part of the manhole so the cover wasn’t sitting on it correctly. They didn’t bother to fix it or put any sort of caution tape around the area. While walking my dog (at 9:30 p.m. on Halloween night, 2000) I stepped on the manhole cover which then flipped on its side and wedged itself into the manhole. I ended up straddling the cover while it was wedged in the manhole. Can you imagine? One minute you are walking along. The next minute, the concrete beneath you disappears and you drop but only for a split second because your full weight comes down on this thick circle of concrete? And what stops you is your crotch?

3.) The force tore parts of my vagina/labia. The cover dropped on its side, as did I. Manhole covers are very heavy. So once I landed on my side, (with one leg dangling in the manhole) I had to push the manhole cover off of me and still had to walk a quarter mile home. By the time I got home blood was running down my legs and my “lady parts” were swollen. I could stand more than shoulder length apart and still feel the vaginal lips rubbing up against my inner thighs.

2.)I went to the ER that night but the next day went to my gyno to document the bruising and have the “lady parts” checked out. The entire side of my body was black and blue. My “lady parts” were so swollen and black, that if I’d taken a photo, you wouldn’t even know what you were looking at. The physician assistant cried as she documented the bruises. She felt really bad for me.

1.) Upon impact, I saw a flash of hot white. Who knew pain had a color?  I also chipped pubic bone couldn’t wear underwear for six weeks. It was eight weeks until I could wear pants mainly because of the seams in the crotch area. (If I was a guy, my nickname would now be “No-nuts”.)

Hi. I’m Lisa. And I like to overshare! YIKES. That’ll teach Carrie to choose me for a meme, eh?

5 Places I want to see or see again 

 5.) Ireland/Scotland/England (want to see)

4.) Spain (want to see)

3.) Bavaria, Germany, Austria (want to see)

2.) Napa/San Fran (revisit)

1.) New York (revisit)

Now Linlee, Nancy, Zookeeper, A bun’s life and Alexandra go forth and meme your heart out.

The rules are: Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog.

Share five random and/or weird facts about yourself on your blog.

Share the five top places on your “want to see or want to see again” list.

Tag a minimum of five random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs.

Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment in their blog.

Happy Weekend, ya’ll!

The very sweet Sarah tagged me for a Two Things meme. I’m really bad about doing these things. So if you’ve tagged me and are waiting for me to do your meme, PLEASE remind me again. I’m a total dingbat with the short-term memory of a gnat.  But if you remind me, I PROMISE I’ll participate this time! 

Two names you go by…(in blogland) Mother of Bun and Midwestern Mommy (in real life) “Lisa” or “Maa-ooommmmm”.)

Two things you are wearing right now… A smile and my glasses. Yeehaw! Naked blogging! Um. No not really. My mother-in-law is here and sleeping in the bedroom next to the office. Plus, I’m far too modest for that sort of thing. So I guess I’ll have to say, jammy bottoms and a Scrapblog t-shirt from BlogHer 2007.)

Two things you would want (or have) in a relationship… Like Sarah, I’d go with trust and respect. (Good answer Sarah!)  

Two of your favorite things to do… Cuddle with the boy and hubby, get together with the girls and go dancing.

Two things you want very badly at the moment… To only require 5 hours of sleep a night. That way I’d have three more hours a day to do stuff like exercise, blog, and run errands. I also desperately want to buy another box of candy, eat it all in one sitting while watching a chick flick and not feel sick or gain weight as a result.

Two pets you have or have had… Abbeydog the part Labby (and pointer mix) and Bertie the African Dwarf Frog

Two things that you did last night… Watched this movie in bed, took a bunch of meds for a migraine.

Two things you ate today… Spinache salad and brownies

Two people you last talked to… The Honey and The Bunny

Two things you’re doing tomorrow… Catch up on blog reading and help boy finish up his valentine’s day cards.

Two longest car rides… From St. Louis to Lake Charles Louisiana, Thanksgiving, ‘07 to visit family. (Hi Ashley! Hi Cindy! Hi Nic!) Also from St. Louis to some place in Michigan when Seth was 3 months old for a mini-vacay.

Two favorite holidays… Any holiday with cake. Any holiday with booze. (Of course any holiday where fun peeps are involved - that goes without sayin…)

Two favorite beverages… Diet Coke Cocktail, mint green tea 

Two people no longer alive who you’d like to talk to… (”Famous people”) Queen Elizabeth  and Gandhi. (Non famous) Any ancestors who’d talk to me.

If you’d like to participate, consider yourself tagged! Go forth and meme!