As I embark on my 37th year of life, there’s one gift I’d love to have.

I’d love to quit the anxieties and negative thoughts that constantly ping-pong in my mind. I’d love to not feel self-conscious and awkward when I talk to people. I’d like to learn how to accept myself – faults and all.

Like most women, I am my toughest critic. When it comes to the ugly and hateful things I often say to myself, I realize I’d never say those things to someone else. In fact, if someone else were to say the same things to one of my friends or a family member? I’d give that person a verbal ass kicking.

A few days ago, my mother-in-law took me aside. She said she thinks I’m too hard on myself. That I downplay my strengths. I shouldn’t put myself down so much. I don’t know my worth.

That’s true. 

So as I celebrate one more year under my belt. I hope to find inner peace. I hope I’ll learn how to gauge my strengths and accept my weaknesses. I hope to stop berating myself for mistakes everyone makes. I hope to quiet the nasty inner voice that tells me I’m not good enough, attractive enough, smart enough or just plain “enough.”

Life is too short. And I hope that next year, at this time, I can celebrate a rebirth of sorts.

Wish me luck. I’ll need it.

***

(We interrupt this post to pimp the projects I’ve been working on…) Now that the holiday season is upon us, may I recommend Wii’s Littlest Pet Shop game? Or maybe head over to Parent Bloggers Network to find out what’s being said about Hotwheels’ newest toys and three stories about a little fairy named Eve. Oh and a fellow St.L blogger (and friend) is being spotlighted on St. Louis Blogger’s Guild. Check it! And there’s a giveaway for a WordWorld bucket of blocks at my reviews site.

The support I received after this post was amazing. (Thankfully, the scary ordeal is no longer “scary” nor an “ordeal”.) But I wanted to thank everyone who took time to read the post and comment. So I’ll be thanking a group of people as a part of each post until I’ve thanked everyone.

So thanks to: Todd, Sarah and the Goon Squad, Alissa, Baltimore Girl, Veep Veep, Jen, Ruth Dynamite, Ali, Christine, Jess, Ben, Damselfly, Shandon Fowler, Toni, Chris, Josh, All Adither, Issa and Kyla.

S: “Mom, I’ve been thinking alot lately.”

Me: “What about?”

S: “Well, I just don’t know how anyone could not like me.”

Me: “Well, I don’t know how anyone could not like you either.”

S: “I know! Its like….Its IMPOSSIBLE to not like me!”

Me: “You’re right. You’re cute, cuddly, fun and you’re very kind to other people. You’re also very good at sharing and you’re a good friend. What’s not to like about that?”

S: “I know! And I’m good looking and I have LOTS of cool super powers!”

Me: (trying not to giggle.) “Oh and you’re very humble too.”

S: “Yeah. I sure am.”

Uh-huh.

P. S. Speaking of kids… There’s a review (on behalf of Parent Bloggers Network) of Hip Hop Harry’s “Move Those Feet” on Midwestern Mommy Reviews today. If you take care of tiny dancers, you might want to think about this dvd.

P.S.S.Did you know that your uterus can fall out? Yup. And when it does, it apparently looks like a scrotum. Oy! But you know what can go a long way in preventing that? Kegels. (You’ve just freaked out a little after reading that and you’re TOTALLY doing Kegels right now, aren’t ya? Me too! But that’s one of the nuggets we learned during that little campy-camp thingee in New Jersey. Plan to give you the lowdown very, very soon.)

The Nap Warden and Hollow Squirrel recently gifted me with the “Nice Matters Award”. (Which, “awwwww.” Warm fuzzies all weekend!) And in turn, she’s inspired me to spread the love too! So naturally these supersweet chickas came to mind: Little Miss Sassy, Hola Isabel, Stollen Moments, The House of H, Virtual Sprite, The Dana Files, Believer in Balance, and Its All For the Best. Ladies? Go forth and spread the nice.

Someone else awarded me this wondrous button awhile back but I can’t seem to find the link in my incoming links list. So the other person who bestowed the honor a few weeks back needs to remind me so I can thank them. Pretty please!)

Oh and sorry I’m not very timely about doing the memes and singling out people for awards. Its nothin’ personal. I’m just plain lazy. And I don’t have the energy to think. Seriously. NO energy.

Oh and guess what? Reviewed a Kajeet phone recently. If you’ve got a kid in the 9-14 age range and you are totally stumped when it comes to gift giving ideas? This is a great idea. (Plus, you can always give refill minute cards for gift-giving holidays afterwards. See? You’re set giftwise for a few YEARS this way!) And customer service is friendly and helpful. Interested? Click here!