Dear Cindy Crawford,

I’ve been a big fan of yours ever since I found out you grew up in DeKalb, IL. I grew up in a small town in rural Illinois too! And it cracks me up that people told you early in your modeling career to remove your mole if you wanted to work. But you didn’t. Turns out that little mole is what made you stand out.

We don’t see much of you anymore. You’ve got kids to raise and a marriage to maintain. But recently some photos of you did surface. And those photos? Are what has made me completely adore you. I hope that if/when you saw those you didn’t cringe. Because you shouldn’t. Thanks for that pic. It helps the rest of us mere mortals to see that even a supermodel isn’t immune to the havoc of pregnancy.

For the record? You are still way, way, way hotter than those Hollywood ho’s half your age!

Sincerely,

Midwestern Mommy

P.S. Just in time for Christmas…. A review (on behalf of Parent Bloggers Network) of a supa cool product (JumpStart) can be found at Midwestern Mommy Reviews! Check it out!

Looking for an interesting book for a girl in grade school or junior high? The Daring Book for Girls might be something to check into. For my write up go here. If you are interested in what others thought of the book (reviews written on behalf of the Parent Bloggers Network), go here.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go to bed and take drugs. Thanks to “the boy” who felt compelled to touch EVERY LIVING THING while at the aquarium and in the French Quarter in New Orleans this past weekend, we’ve all got coughs, sore throats and feel like tired poo. (Why didn’t he just lick the street car handrails or french kiss that homeless man at Cafe Du Mond? Geez!) Needless to say that while I love New Orleans, if I could dump that entire city in a vat of hand sanitizer, I would.

It was a dark and snowy night. I was living in St. Louis and trekking to the home of the parental units who live two miles outside of a tiny southern Illinois town. As I got off of the highway, a mile from their home, I noticed the snow removal trucks hadn’t touched the roads in this area. It had snowed so hard it was impossible to tell the road from the ditches that lined both sides. Visibility was horrid. I ended up getting stuck.  And I had to walk a little more than a quarter mile to my parents house. It was slow going – especially in the midst of a blizzard while wearing heels and an Ally McBeal type suit. (Hey, I was 23. Need I say more?)

As I slipped, shivered, and cursed in the darkness, I vowed to keep extra socks, sneakers and a blanket in the trunk during future winter months. Looking back, I know that these three things? Don’t exactly spell “Prepared for Inclement Weather”. But that’s only because I didn’t know about the vehicle survival kit from Sequoia Survival Company!

To read the rest of this review (and find out what type of products are packed in the survival kit) visit Midwestern Mommy Reviews. This review was written on behalf of the Parent Bloggers Network. For more reviews on this product click HERE.

You know what’s really wild (and wonderful) in this here blogosphere? When you visit a new blogger, see she’s from St. Louis then see a photo of her son sitting on a retaining wall. And you have a strange, strong feeling she lives in your area of the county. So you ask her. And find out she lives five minutes away from you. And that you pass by her subdivision fairly regularly.

You know what’s also really wild? When you hear about the wife of a grade school classmate having IBC and you start thinking… Based on what little you know about this old classmate… Could his wife be the always amazing WhyMommy – a blogger you’ve admired from afar for a very long time? What are the odds? But you have this really strange, strong feeling that it could be her. So you take a risk and e-mail her. And then you find out that Yes! You went to kindergarten through eighth grade with WhyMommy’s husband! In fact, you even had a crush on him at some point. And the whole thing is really wild because there were maybe 11 girls and 13 boys in the entire class!

And then you realize…. WhyMommy’s in-laws were at your little brother’s wedding. You watched them polka. (They can do a mean polka.) And? Your little brother, through his marriage, is now RELATED to WhyMommy! Oh, and one of WhyMommy’s aunts? Was your first grade teacher. So cool!

Oh and another cool thing… Is Nina Garcia’s “Little Black Book of Style“. If you’re interested, read a review on behalf of Parent Bloggers Network.

  Abbey-dog is my favorite walking/running companion. We’ve logged many a mile together over the years over all sorts of Illinois/Missouri terrain. But I have to admit that I’m not as consistent as Abbeydog would like me to be. There are those times when life gets busy. And then there are those times where you decided to go out for a 5-miler and come home with blisters on your feet — blisters that take about 5 days to heal. And that really cramps poor Abbeydog’s style. (Cause she be workin’ on her fitness, yo!) And its not fun for her two-legged fitness partner either!

So when the opportunity (via Parent Bloggers Network) to review some cool Ryka sneaks arrived? Abbeydog wasn’t the only one doing happy waggily dances…

 To find out more about this wonder shoe, visit Midwestern Mommy Reviews! Oh and did I mention the part where Ryka’s giving away 50 shoes a day through the month of October. (A direct link can be found here.)

Dear 2005 Honda CRV,

Well, I’ve been driving you for three years now. And its been… Well… It was fun at first. But I’ve quickly grown tired of your not-so-smooth ride. I guess I shouldn’t have cheaped out awhile back and got the lowly 4-cylinder.  But I digress. You’re cute, peppy, have a fabby turning radius, and honestly? I think of you as a giant purse on wheels more so than a vehicle. We’ve logged many a mile together. And you’ve endured my “cat in heat meets scratching nails on a chalkboard” singing in a much happier manner than my son.

 But the thing of it is… I need something different. Its not me, its you. Your acceleration/gear switching is sort of jerky. And I feel every bump on the road. This isn’t so good when you have a child who gets car sick easily. I call you the “vomit comet” because the boy has barfed in you at least six times now. And that smell bakes right in every flippin’ pore of your interior during the warmer months. Oh and then there’s that chocolate milkshake my nephew spilled all over the place a few weeks ago too.

Bottom line? These days, I like you mainly because you are paid off. And you’re a pretty color. But I’ve been campaigning heavily for a new model. And it has been agreed. In about nine months, I am slated to get a different vehicle. I don’t really care what it is… As long as it doesn’t smell like puke/rotten chocolate milk and has leather seats. (Because scrapping melted tootsie rolls off of cloth seats and trying to clean puke out of material-covered crevices isn’t what I call “a rousing good time.”) 

But I have appreciated the fact that you don’t guzzle gasoline like a frat boy at a free kegger party. Especially when the pump prices get to $3.00 a gallon. Cause dude, that cuts into mama’s beer money. And I NEEDS me mah Wednesday night’s out with “The hot, wild, brew babes.”

Anyway… Being that I don’t know what I really want to get next (and have alot of time to research) I think I’ll “Ask Patty” and see what she and her wonder team think.

But consider this advanced notice. Cheer up. Odds are, your next owner will take MUCH better care of you than we have.

Sincerely,

Lisa Aka Midwestern Mommy

To find out what others think of their vehicles (and include an essay of your own), go to the Parent Bloggers Network.