At the age of two he couldn’t say anything more than “ma-ee” and “no.” Now if Seth is in a room? There’s a rarely a silent moment.

He used to have a difficult time coordinating his upper and lower body while running. His arms and shoulders would droop while his little legs moved. Now he’s one of the fastest kids on his soccer team and in his second grade class.

He used to be terrified of the water. Now he swims like a fish.

He used to be scared of riding his bike, even with training wheels. Now he can easily maneuver on the tricky, wooded bike paths by our house.

He used to rarely sleep through the night. He’d often awaken and scream. Calming him down was very difficult. Now he sleeps peacefully and soundly every night.

He used to have problems writing, drawing, and picking up small objects. His fine motor skills were very weak. Now he connects the tiniest Lego pieces together to create his own masterpieces.

He used to only eat about four different foods. (He even hated pizza.) Now he eats broccoli, green peppers, green beans, potstickers, tempura and various Mexican food.

He used to require almost constant interaction. Now he’ll lose himself in his Lego creations for almost an hour at a time.

He used to need special help with reading. Now he reads effortlessly and is ahead of where he should be.

He was diagnosed with Sensory Integration Dysfunction (or Sensory Processing Disorder) and Verbal Apraxia five years ago. He was diagnosed with ADHD not quite two years ago. Thanks to some wonderful people who have helped him throughout the years (speech therapist, occupational therapist, teachers, counselors, neurologist, etc,.) he’s persevered and flourished. (It truly does take a village.) He still has a few issues but overall, he’s working hard. He’s a fighter. And a sweet, snuggly, silly, vivacious one at that.

If you’re a parent who’s child has been diagnosed with any of these issues, please know that while there is alot of work in store for you, watching your child progress is one of the sweetest experiences there is. There is hope. And there is help.

One quiet evening after ”the boy” was off to bed, the hubby offered to make me cosmo. (We’d started having a drink at night now and again when we were alone. It was a lovely way to sit down, talk about our days, and relax.)

I told him to wait before he made that drink. My period was late and I should probably take a pregnancy test. I could create a structure the size of the Taj Mahal with all of the sticks I’ve peed on over the years. You know, back when we had been TRYING…

The hubby laughed skeptically and began to ice the shaker. I took the test. The results came quick, like usual. But unlike the other elevenity bazillion times, I couldn’t stop staring at the findings. I starred.

And starred.

And starred.

After YEARS of trying, I had often wondered if my husband had gotten a vasectomy on the sly. Over time, I accepted and embraced being the parent of one. I was already making plans for all of that money we wouldn’t have to spend on putting subsequent children through college.  Until a few weeks ago, the only “babies” on my brain were of the canine variety.

But within an hour’s time it felt natural and exciting to talk about “the baby” — as if the little person was already upstairs sleeping in the crib. As if this little person had always been with us.

So the due date is late August. The heartbeat is strong and solid. Odds of survival are at 90 percent. And the new kid has been dubbed “Roo.” (A nickname we picked out many years ago.)

Seth is very excited (especially about the idea of a younger kid thinking he’s the coolest, smartest dude on the planet).

Marc is already campaigning for a third.  I’m thinking that vasectomy will take place in mid-September…

The support I received after this post was amazing. (Thankfully, the scary ordeal is no longer “scary” nor an “ordeal”.) But I wanted to thank everyone who took time to read the post and comment. So I’ll be thanking a group of people as a part of each post until I’ve thanked everyone. So thanks to: Tash, Mandy, Furiousball, Shonda Little, Angel Smith, Christina the Wench, Kim, Jenny, Laura Healy, Toni, Rose, Elismsue, Jasph, Marrdy, Lilfootsmommy, Linda J, Robin, Fishy Girl, Ashley, The Funky Feline, and Jessica.

He flits around the room, from one activity to the next. He’s always moving and talking — as if there’s something internally and eternally propelling him noisily onward. Unfinished pages of coloring books fill his art drawer. He is impulsive, often interrupting others’ conversations. He has trouble following directions. He’s easily distracted. And he’s easily frustrated. He wears out other kids his age.

But he’s also a fast learner. He excells in math. He can hyperfocus when he immerses himself into something of great interest. He has an amazing memory. He can quickly grasp some abstract concepts like God and the soul. He has a big heart. He seeks out ways to be helpful. He is eager to please. He’s snuggly. He is kind to his friends and family. He’s charming. He has a generous nature. He has a large number of interests. He has so many wonderful qualities. 

This is my son. And in May, a doctor confirmed what I’d (and a few of his teachers) suspected for awhile — he has ADHD. We had put off going the medication route but we finally agreed to try it out. 

For now, it is working. He’s still the same active little person. His personality and sense of humor hasn’t changed at all. He’s definitely not one of those “over-medicated zombies” you hear about. But at least now he is able to pay attention in class. He is now able to stay on task. When he’s working in a group setting, his classmates don’t have to keep redirecting him. His teacher doesn’t need to keep going over directions and redirecting him either. She’s able to focus on the other kids who need her help.

I’m not saying medicating your child will make all of your problems go away. No way! In fact, he isn’t on the medicine during holidays, weekends or during summer vacation. But it has helped him harness that energy. When he gets older, he will determine whether or not to remain on medication. He will have to learn how to adapt his behaviors, how to channel all of that energy into constructive and positive endeavors without relying as much on medication.

Did you know that Albert Einstein, Ansel Adams, Bill Gates, Earnest Hemmingway, Steven Spielberg, Leo Tolstoy, Socrates, Bethoven, Mozart, Abraham Lincoln, Galileo, the Wright Brothers and Virginia Wolff all have (or had) ADHD? When they combined their energy with their passion for their respective fields, they became legendary.

Now as a parent, it is my job to help Seth discover his passion, nurture his strengths and to help him adapt. There’s no doubt in my mind that he has limitless potential to go with that limitless energy.

Someday he may ask me to take down this post. He may feel it an invasion of privacy. But for now it will stay. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. And I want others to see that too. He has ADHD. It is something he’ll have to learn to work around — like so many others have done before him. Having ADHD is not the end of the world.

In may aspects…. it is merely the beginning.

I wrote this post because the more I researched ADHD, the more I realized there’s a stigma there. (Some people don’t believe in ADHD and think it is a matter of crappy parenting.) If you totally disagree with my way of thinking, that’s perfectly ok. Am interested in hearing all points of view. Just please know I don’t consider medicine the “quick fix”. For now its one of the tools we’re using. (Along with teaching him organizational skills and a few other things.)

The support I received after this post was amazing. (Thankfully, the scary ordeal is no longer “scary” nor an “ordeal”.) But I wanted to thank everyone who took time to read the post and comment. So I’ll be thanking a group of people as a part of each post until I’ve thanked everyone.

So thanks to: Anissa, Linsey, Patrick D, Wendi, Julienne, Heidi, Carolyn Bahm, Chelle, Jenny, Kelli, Moosh in Indy, Canape, Sandira, Sheri, Mistie, Califmom, Kim, and Sweetney.

Served up fresh this week: Win a little something cool to keep you warm from Lands’ End. Enter the giveaway here! And speaking of giveaways, Parent Bloggers Network is giving you  a chance to win a free children’s book from Positive Spin. (I’m working on this campaign!) Check out the books and enter here. Also, don’t schedule any gyno surgical procedures before you read this.   

This is one very proud boy. Why? Well, do you see that gap? He lost his first tooth today (literally) at school.  

Apparently when he realized he lost it, (in a hallway) everyone started hunting for the tooth. But there was no success. He was very upset. The burning question of the day? If a tooth falls out but no one can find it, will the tooth fairy still show? Or more importantly to a 6-year-old saving money for a Darth Vader costume, WILL I STILL GET THE MONEY?

He’s pretty confident the tooth fairy will deliver.

Congrats to Lori and Janelle and Carrie. They all won a FREE gift card for a Pizza Hut pasta dish. (A review on their most recent pasta addition can be found HERE.) Ladies, drop me an e-mail at mother of bun at yahoo dot com and give me your address so that Pizza Hut can send you your gift card!

The support I received after this post was amazing. (Thankfully, the scarey ordeal is no longer “scarey” nor an “ordeal”.) But I wanted to thank everyone who took time to read the post and comment. So I’ll be thanking a group of people as a part of each post until I’ve thanked everyone.

So thanks to: Queen of Shake Shake, jj, Quart, Mothergoosemouse, Mama Tulip, Dysfunctional Mom, Alex Year Two, Because I Said So!, Reddy Zoo, Dodo, The New Girl, Phat Mommy, Mamalogues, Dawn’s Diversions, Seeking My Zen Garden, Not Perfect, Working Moms Against Guilt.

Ever since this past spring, “the boy” has been angling for a pair Sketchers. (What is so magical about Sketchers? No clue.) He finally got his wish a few days ago. He’s so proud of his recent “back-to-school” acquisition. He walks with a new-found spring in his step. He swears they make him run faster and kick a ball farther. 

But what’s also been amusing is his new-found interested in hair care products. Tired of getting pestered over “do my hair” requests, I bought him his very own product yesterday. 

While in the grocery store, Seth mulled over his choices. He asked about gels versus mousse. Once he had his choices narrowed down to three products (based on packaging, naturally), he decided to smell each brand. The manliest scent won.

We got home and he raced upstairs with the mousse and emerged with spikey hair and a very proud smile.

Seth learned a valuable life lesson - that a favorite pair of shoes and great hair day can make you feel like you can conquer the world.

The support I received after this post was amazing. (Thankfully, the bad news turned into good news.) But I wanted to thank everyone who took time to read the post and comment. So I’ll be thanking a group of people as a part of each post until I’ve thanked everyone.

So thanks to: Beth D, A Bun’s Life, Snowberry Lane, Its All For the Best, Parachuting Without a Net, Wicked Auntie (who is wicked in that cool way) Kathie, Mommy’s Martini, Rancid Raves, My Second Journal, Blonde Mom Blog, and Moto Mom.

Lately, I’ve notice something saddening.

My bond with “the boy” seems weakened. We don’t play like we used to. We don’t act silly together anymore. And I’m missing him. I crave time with him. I’ve gotten so into this blogging thing (writing for other blogs, my own and a few other projects) that I feel distracted when I’m with him. I’m always thinking about the next post or what e-mail needs to be written. Or, if I don’t have the quiet time, there’s always one more thing to clean.

It’s getting me down. Especially since first grade is around the corner. He’s growing up fast. I don’t want to wake up years from now and wonder, “Who IS this person?” I want KNOW him. And I don’t want him to question whether his mother loves her computer more than she loves him. (Because he’s started doing that. Breaks my heart.)

I’ve had to pull back before when other areas of my life need to extra attention. And I’ve got to pull back now for a few weeks. I MISS my little boy.

My husband and I rarely talk. He sits in front of his laptop in the evenings. I clean up from dinner, or prepare for the next day, get Seth off to bed, shower then sit in front of mine. By the end of the night, hubby and I have hardly spoken. We seem like roommates. And its sad. We both need to break away from our electronic bonds. And that change is going to have to start with me. I need to take care of my little family first. For now.

Since I’ve made commitments to others, I plan to keep those. But posting here might be sporadic. But I hope to visit everyone as much as possible though.

One of Seth’s favorite things to do is climb the tree in our front yard. He loves to sit on his favorite branch then peer down at us “little people” as if to survey his kingdom. A few weeks ago, when he heard we’d need to trim some branches, he was worried he’d lose his prime spot. But his worry turned to extreme delight. Can you see why?

“Hey Mom,” he said excitedly. “It looks like I have a really big wiener! Take a picture! Take a picture!”

This, from a child who refuses to let me take pictures of him.

And do you see how he’s leaning back? As if to say “CHECK THIS THING OUT!” He did that on his own! (And now all of those pictures at Desperately Seeking** make so much more sense. It must be instinctual!)

Oy.

**This link is SO NOT SAFE for work or little eyes. If you have delicate sensibilities you probably don’t want to click on that link.

P.S. Am guest blogging at A Bun’s Life today while she enjoys (what is hopefully) some rest and relaxation. Oh and there’s a feature on Kim from Parachuting Without a Net on St. Louis Blogger’s Guild up as well.

Recently Kristin’s boys were talking about the phrases she uses most often — so often they’d probably end up on her tombstone. And then she asked her readers, “what phrases will be on your tombstone?”

Here are some of mine:

“Are you wearing underwear? Because we can’t go to grandma’s unless you’re wearing underwear.” (The boy likes to go “commando” and that really freaks out my mom.)

“No being bossy. That’s MY job.”

“Get your finger out of your nose.”

“Dude. Stop giving yourself a wedgie.” (Really, what is WITH that?)

What phrases are you known for by friends and family? What will be on your tombstone?

After almost three hours of hard labor, the doctor held up the newborn as if presenting a trophy. After the baby boy was swaddled and given a chance to nurse, he was quickly whisked away for a wash.

A few minutes later, the nurse walked into the worn out woman’s room carrying the new little person.  

“What will you name him,” asked the nurse.

“Well, we can’t decide. It’s either going to be ‘Trevor’ or ‘Seth’.”

The nurse smiled. Then she looked down at the sleeping infant and said, “Oh. Hello there, Seth.”

The new parents exchanged amused looks.

“Well, then I guess his name is going to be Seth,” said the dad.

And so it was.

Happy Birthday sweet, silly, smart, charming, shy, tender-hearted, loving, snuggly, energetic, handsome Seth.

The hubby and I were one of those couples who couldn’t wait to find out the sex of our baby. I remember the moment we laid eyes on our little boy — and his privates. There he was in black and white, grainy glory — giving us the finger.

My first thought was “What in the WORLD am I going to do with a boy?” Its not that I didn’t like boys. They just sort of scared me because I didn’t understand the them. 

Now that I have a little boy, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Its been an educational and entertaining journey to say the least. But then again, I still don’t understand the boys that are older than Seth — especially the ones that range from 8 to 12-ish.  I call that ”the meat head stage”. Why is it fun to beat the crap out of each other? Why is it hysterically funny to fart in someone’s face? Just. don’t. get.

A few days ago, three neighbor boys (in this age range) were hurling aluminum bats at each other. They weren’t running away from the bats, they were trying to CATCH them. For fun! (These are sweet kids with great parents, by the way.)

Last week Seth’s play date Nick was telling us about his big brother’s best friend “Scooter”. And how Scooter once knocked Nick down and peed in his face. At the time I assumed Scooter was a dog. But nope. Scooter is a person. (Don’t know anything about Scooter. But my guess as to Scooter’s future? Involves at least two trips to jail and if he’s lucky, a stint in some ”g0lden sh0wer” type porn. )

I know my sweet, albeit squirrelly, little boy will have us visiting urgent care facilities in a few years due to his own meat head antics. It seems to be some rite of passage. But thinking about it makes my palms sweat. Who knew the temptation to wrap a kid in 32 layers of bubble wrap could be so strong? 

P.S. Just reviewed a cool new kids toy thanks to Parent Bloggers Network. For my review, click here.

Caution: Bitchy rant that will probably make you think less of me ahead. 

Most mornings, you can find my son and I in the breakfast nook. His brow is furrowed. My temper is tested. There is alot teeth grinding on both our parts. I’m talking homework.

We sit together for almost an hour each morning. Since his kindergarten session starts in the afternoon, we started doing homework in the mornings, when his brain is fresh. (Next year will be a whole different schedule.) But it doesn’t seem to matter - it is still a constant struggle.

Its not that he’s got an hour of homework — he usually only gets homework a few times a week. These worksheets should only take the child 10-20 minutes. But yet… With all of the lollygagging, singing about poopy butts and weenies, screeching, calling the dog, asking for a drink, going to the bathroom, whining, playing with the eraser, arguing, and fussing, these worksheets take more like 30-40 minutes.

And that’s only IF I’m standing right next to him to say, “Seth. Now you need to write a lowercase ‘r’. No, that’s uppercase. You need to erase that. Write a lowercase ‘r’. Seth! You just wrote another capital ‘r’. You need to write a small ‘r’. (He finally writes the ‘r’.) Ok great. Do you see you’re trying to write the word ‘rat’, what comes after the ‘r’. Yes! Its the ‘at’ sound. How do you think that’s spelled? Yes! ‘a’ and ’t’. Very good. Now write the ‘a’ and ‘t’. No, not on this other line. You need to write the ‘a’ and ‘t’ right next to the ‘r’. We’re writing the word ‘rat’ remember? Ok. Dude, what is that? That doesn’t look like an ‘a’. Remember? An ‘a’ is a circle and a stick, Bunny. No that stick is on the wrong side of the circle.

After 20 minutes of this. (I’m losing patience faster as the school year wears on.) I get frustrated and start talking to him in a very irritated tone. And I wonder… Why can’t the child just write out the freaking ‘r’ and the ‘at’ on the same line? Why can’t he just do it without me standing over him? When I volunteer in his classroom, I see kids doing their work by themselves. Why can’t Seth do that? Is this normal? Is there something wrong with me and my approach? Is there something wrong with him? I see other kids follow directions, why can’t he? (We spend alot of time correcting work he did at school - not that he didn’t know the material - he just didn’t follow directions or finish the project.)

And since his skills aren’t up to par in certain areas we do extra little projects. He brings them in to his teacher — mainly so she can see he’s trying. (And also, because I don’t think she’d believe me otherwise.) He’s come a long way with his fine motor skills since the beginning of the year but… There’s alot more that needs to be done. (The bright-side is that his handwriting is more legible than hubby’s chicken scratch.)

I can tell the homework has taken a toll on our relationship. We aren’t as close as we used to be. What doesn’t help is that I’m the one who has to make sure he does all of those things he hates to do - like shower, brush teeth, enforce bedtimes, eat veggies, do homework and so forth. Hubby takes him ice skating for two hours then out for an cream dinner and HE’s the hero. I’m the big, bad bitch.

When I think of the upcoming years of homework help, I start to wonder if I can talk my doctor into giving me a script for a lifetime supply of Valium. Clearly ONE of us needs some sort of medicine to keep from going crazy and strangling the other.

But I have to wonder… Is all of this “normal”?

P.S. I know that the kitchen isn’t usually the best environment for kids to do homework. But we have no other kids. The breakfast nook is one of the quietest places in the house. With all of the construction and remodeling of neighbor homes as well as trash and delivery trucks driving by, the rooms facing  the street are far more distracting than a little room that faces a quiet back yard.

S: “Mom, I’ve been thinking alot lately.”

Me: “What about?”

S: “Well, I just don’t know how anyone could not like me.”

Me: “Well, I don’t know how anyone could not like you either.”

S: “I know! Its like….Its IMPOSSIBLE to not like me!”

Me: “You’re right. You’re cute, cuddly, fun and you’re very kind to other people. You’re also very good at sharing and you’re a good friend. What’s not to like about that?”

S: “I know! And I’m good looking and I have LOTS of cool super powers!”

Me: (trying not to giggle.) “Oh and you’re very humble too.”

S: “Yeah. I sure am.”

Uh-huh.

P. S. Speaking of kids… There’s a review (on behalf of Parent Bloggers Network) of Hip Hop Harry’s “Move Those Feet” on Midwestern Mommy Reviews today. If you take care of tiny dancers, you might want to think about this dvd.

P.S.S.Did you know that your uterus can fall out? Yup. And when it does, it apparently looks like a scrotum. Oy! But you know what can go a long way in preventing that? Kegels. (You’ve just freaked out a little after reading that and you’re TOTALLY doing Kegels right now, aren’t ya? Me too! But that’s one of the nuggets we learned during that little campy-camp thingee in New Jersey. Plan to give you the lowdown very, very soon.)