Long, Long, Journey
When Seth was around preschool age and he’d get upset, we’d often try to sort out the matter by talking, snuggling and rocking. Once he’d calm down he’d burrow his face into my chest. (I know! Insert your own “motorboat” joke here.) In his words, he was “wipin’ ob-fff da ca-wi-yin.” (”Wiping off the crying” if you don’t understand the toddler dialect.) Once accomplished, all was fine. It was as if a dried face was the emotional equivalent to a clean slate. He was ready to start anew.
So last week when I found I had miscarried, I cried. Alot.
I have learned the hard way that when I feel utterly depleted, I just need to be left alone for a few hours. If I try to continue on with the daily chaos of life, that feeling intensifies and it takes longer for me to pull myself out of that pit. Thankfully, I have a very wise husband who understands this and gives me that space when I need it.
So last Friday night Marc came home and took care of our son while I had my alone time. After a few hours, I decided I had cried enough. I know I’m very fortunate. I’ve got a healthy little boy, wonderful friends and family. I’ve taken quite a bit of solace in those these things. I also realized I need to take better care of myself (less sweets and soda, more water and walks) than I had been before this surprise pregnancy.
So I took a page out of my little guy’s book. I “wiped ob-ffed da ca-wi-yin” that night and looked at Saturday as a clean slate. There are still moments where my eyes start to water and my heart breaks all over again. I “wipe off the cryin’” when I need to then try to focus on the future. I’m moving forward, slowly, but alas I’m beginning to heal.
The support I received after this post was amazing. (Thankfully, the scary ordeal is no longer “scary” nor an “ordeal”.) But I wanted to thank everyone who took time to read the post and comment. So I’ll be thanking a group of people as a part of each post until I’ve thanked everyone. So thanks to: Mama Geek, Jo, Jordan, Nicole, Kelli, Jen, Isis23, Jenn, Laurie, Nancy R, Stacie, Amalie, Farrell,Imstell, Nonlinear Girl, Debra, Jessica, Candygirlflies, and Diana.

Last week, the hubby and I spent a morning at a fine local hospital. The experience included drinking some sort of liquid mixed with 7-Up, waiting around, drinking more of it, then ultimately having a futuristic-looking medical machine, (that looks a lot like a 








